I seem to have left my pride at pride
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
