you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize