it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
