I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
