Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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