Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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