Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
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THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
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Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize