hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
