A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
