conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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