I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
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