how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
