i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
