waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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