I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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