ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize