Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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