I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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