another moral hangover. fuck.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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