Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
