well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Cover your peen. We're going out.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
