how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
did i just pee glitter
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize