I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
