In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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