Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
