did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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