it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Watching her eat just hurts me
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
