Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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