also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
