hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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