okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
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