that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I need to calm my uterus...
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
