Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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