actually, I'm a sock model
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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