just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
