Soap is not a condiment
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
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She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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