do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I need water and some morals
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
