marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
