I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
