got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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