My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
