Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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