oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
