I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
