Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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