You work out of a Hotel?
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
