I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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