ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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