so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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