oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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