does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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