so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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