hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
