The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
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