i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Just high enough for therapy.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
